


Trust

by thesilvergoddess



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/F, could become multichapter, gays in space, i could change the rating to M or E depending on my wants and desires, keep an eye on it tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 18:27:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13277310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesilvergoddess/pseuds/thesilvergoddess
Summary: During the events of ME3, Liara T'Soni has something for Commander Shepard and wants to present it to her in her quarters.





	Trust

“Liara, you had something that you wanted to discuss in my cabin?” Shepard asked, feeling a little twist in her stomach. There’d been some tension between them, and the fact that Liara wanted to talk to her alone was starting to make her nervous. 

The whole thing with Cerberus… It had been a lot to take in. The fact that Liara had been one of the ones to find her body… to take her to Cerberus… Shepard had mixed feelings about it all, but she supposed that it was as good as anything to be back in business. She’d left the world half-saved, and that just wouldn’t do. 

“Yes…” Liara answered over the comm, a little more hesitantly than Shepard thought she would. “I’ll come right up.”

The next few minutes passed with unbearable slowness. Shepard just kept washing up on the shores of a thought she didn’t want to have. Liara’s distance since becoming the Shadow Broker was understandable, sure, but there was something else about it - a coldness that couldn’t be warmed. That wasn’t how Shepard remembered her friend. 

Liara had changed so much from the nervous, flirty asari from their first mission together, and Shepard almost smiled, remembering the delightful little way that she’d blushed when she made her first move on Shepard. It hadn’t really worked. 

Like an idiot, Shepard turned her down, and their relationship was rocky for a little while for obvious reasons. You, a squishy and  _ incredibly _ young human being, didn’t just turn down an asari and expect them to get over it in a few months. Asari were nearly immutable, but when they did experience something that changed them, it was slow going back, at best. 

Shepard didn’t even know why she’d rejected Liara at first, despite being rather enamored with her from the start. Maybe it was panic. It was probably panic. Shepard could handle Reapers and Collectors and all manner of nasty things, but the instant someone started laying down some casual flirtations, she clammed up or, worse, said something  _ much more flirty and escalated things way too quickly. _

The door hissed open, and Shepard turned from her desk, just then realizing that she’d spent those few minutes locked in memories over the comm that she’d used minutes before. Liara stood there, looking a little uncertain - a little like she used to look rather than her placid confidence from her recent life experience. She held a little box in her hands. 

“Uh… come on in.”

Liara walked in, keeping her eyes away from Shepards. “Thank you… Could we sit?”

Shepard nodded and tried to look cooler than she felt. 

The gurgling fish tank cast a soft blue light on Liara’s already blue skin, and illuminated her eyes in such a way that they seemed to glow. “I’ve been thinking about the knowledge we gathered on the Reapers and how easily it can be lost again.” She squatted and typed into the box’s virtual panel, which she’d placed on the small coffee table in front of the bench. The soft blue light highlighted her freckles. “So, I’ve put a plan in motion to preserve things for the future.”

Another light came from the box, a dim thing at first that grew in intensity for a few seconds. Shepard looked from the light to Liara’s face, which had that eager look she used to get when she would talk about her interests. (When was the last time Shepard had heard her gush about archaeology?) A column of light sprang from the box, and Shepard felt herself rock back slightly on the bench. 

She leaned forward again. “What’s this?”

A tiny smile graced Liara’s lips. “A record of the galaxy.” A hologram of a reaper cropped up. “On the Reapers,” An image of the Citadel. “Relays,” An image of the galaxy. “Different cultures,” An image of schematics. “And blueprints of the Crucible. But there’s one entry I wanted your opinion on.” That hesitation was back. 

Shepard felt her eyebrows furrow as Liara started to avoid her eyes again. “Which one?”

Liara bent down to the box and pressed a button. “Your own.”

A holographic image in that same blueish light appeared, except this time, it didn’t look drawn or rigged. It looked like Shepard.  _ Exactly _ like Shepard. 

Liara looked to Shepard with searching eyes. “I’d be honored to have your input… How would you like history to remember you?”

The question turned Shepard’s insides into mush. Out of everything Liara could have chosen… she wanted to use  _ Shepard _ as a prominent voice for their races. “Fifty thousand years is a long time for a computer to sit around.”

_ Goddamn, why do I talk _ .

Liara looked up, eyebrows high before furrowing slightly in that little annoyed look she’d get when someone would ask her a particularly stupid question on purpose. It was mostly reserved for Joker. 

“Please, I was an archaeologist. I know what I’m doing. I’m encasing these records in time capsules and seeding copies on multiple planets, and while it’s not foolproof, the VI I’m using has every translation and linguistics program I could find.” She rubbed her neck and looked down at the black box accusingly, as if to challenge it to break or fail. 

“So it’s an information guide? Like Vigil on Ilos?”

Liara squatted back down and started typing again. The little mini-Shepard went away. “Yes, I’ve been preparing it for some time.”

“And it will be a privilege to guide the future discoverers of these records,” a chipper robotic voice answered. The thing that looked a lot like Glyph turned to Shepard. “Have you decided what you would like Dr. T’Soni to write in your entry, Commander?”

Shepard leaned in, now avoiding Liara’s intense gaze which had turned toward her. “You know me well enough to fill in the blanks, Liara.”

Liara stood, and Shepard caught another small smile on her lips - the only kind that seemed to ever appear anymore, but her voice trembled when she spoke. “Are you sure?”

Shepard spoke the truth, “Yeah. I’d like it to be your call.”

“Well… I’ll say Commander Shepard was born on Mindoir, but never let what happened there define her. Shepard could handle any weapon in the galaxy. The Alliance never saw a deadlier soldier. She was also a deadly tactical fighter… Most enemies never saw her coming. She was a soldier and a leader - one who made peace where she could… And it was a privilege to know her…”

Shepard couldn’t help the little bursts of elation at every sentence. Liara was so… adept. She was so skilled and so talented and so diligent, and there she was praising Shepard like  _ Shepard _ was the big deal. 

“Careful that this doesn’t sound like a diary,” she said with a smile. 

Liara huffed a half-laugh. “I can’t help myself,” and she said beside Shepard, looking everywhere else except to the person next to her. “You’re a good friend, Shepard.”

Shepard leaned over and put a hand on Liara’s knee. “You’ve been there for me too, Liara.”

Liara sighed and looked at the black box before them, the little Shepard back again. “No, I haven’t. I wish I could have joined you back on Illium…”

“You made up for it,” Shepard replied with a little shrug. 

Liara smiled wider than she had in a while. “Well… I  _ suppose _ I  _ did _ just write your name in the stars.”

The Shepard vanished at her words, and the real Shepard glanced over at Liara, who now gazed softly at the spot where it had been. 

“We don’t always say it the way you might need us to, Shepard, but we’re proud to be here.” A pause. “And we’re proud of you.”

Shepard snorted. “I’m the one that needs to be thanking you guys more. I wouldn’t be here without you. Sure, I’m more machine than flesh person now, but that’s not so bad once you get used to creaking when you get too cold.”

Liara turned her gaze to Shepard with confused startelement. “Are you in pain, Shepard?”

Shepard couldn’t help but laugh a little. “No, I’m fine. It was just a joke, Liara. You know… I’m saying I’m getting too old for this.”

Liara frowned. “Too old? You’re still well within a vital range for human life.”

“Emotionally.”

“Ah,” Liara said, apparently unsure how to proceed.

The two sat in mostly uncomfortable silence, listening to the fish tank gurgle and looking at a black box that no longer showed images. Shepard expected the asari to leave, but she neither left nor seemed to want to leave. The silence grew more comfortable as it stretched between them, and Shepard found herself settling further into the couch bench, feeling a little lazy despite the pressing matters that blipped so insistently on her computer screen. Go check this. Go look at that. Rebellion and resurrection. Crucible and Reapers. Blah, blah, blah.

“We’ve… been through a lot together, Shepard,” Liara said finally.

Shepard leaned her head back and looked at the ceiling. “Sometimes, Liara, I wish it weren’t this way. I wish we’d met under different circumstances. I wish we didn’t have to deal with the Reapers. I wish I didn’t feel like we were hurtling toward our deaths at every single turn.”

Liara tilted her head toward Shepard, one eyebrow quirked. “Do you wish we had not met?”

Shepard felt her head snap back like Liara had hit her in the mouth. “What? Liara? No, what makes you think that?”

Liara looked down at her hands, which were folded in her lap now. “If you had not come for me and met me, you would not have had to deal with a great many things that proved difficult and… upsetting. You would not have had to fight the Geth on my behalf. You would not have had to kill my mother. You would not have-”

“Liara, why do you think that any of this is because of you?” Shepard leaned forward, dull anxiety pounding at her ribs with every heartbeat. “We couldn’t have made it this far without you. We probably would have died without your help. You’re a valuable asset to this team, Liara, and you’re my friend. You’re my  _ friend _ , for whatever that’s worth.”

The blue light of the fish tank cast shadows over Liara’s face with every passing animal. The water made her facial features shift with fluid flickers of emotion.

“I… could not make myself get rid of your armor… Your dog tags… Anything. I held onto it all despite knowing that it could very well make me a great target of allies and enemies… Eventually, it did, but I was already working in information dealings. I had contacts, but they contacted me before I could contact them. They gave me  _ hope _ . They said that they knew what planet you’d crashed on. They said they knew where your body was.” She paused and leaned forward, mere centimeters from Shepard’s face. “They told me that if I brought you to them, they could bring you  _ back _ .”

“I saw it all in your apartment.”

Purple flush feathered Liara’s cheeks, making her freckles stand out even more, and Shepard felt herself smile. After everything they’d been through, they could smile and blush and laugh and cry… They were still beings of  _ feeling _ , beings of  _ emotion _ . They were stronger together than they were apart. 

“Shepard… I have a… very serious question.” Liara, still close enough for Shepard to feel the heat of her body, turned away to watch the fish.

“Shoot.” Shepard didn’t like serious questions. There were too many questions.

“Um… forgive me for… being so… um… forward… but… why did you… um…” She laughed breathily and put her hand to her forehead. “Never mind.”

“Oh, the great and mighty Shadow Broker’s flustered,” Shepard said, nudging Liara’s shoulder with her own. 

“When we were on our first mission together… Why did you… turn me down? You’ve not… committed yourself to anyone else.” She huffed a little. “You’ve expressed interest in all species and individuals on the ship, but you’re not… exclusive in your advances.”

It was Shepard’s turn to blush. “It’s because…” There wasn’t any sense in lying. “It’s because I’m just a human, and then I was in space with everyone else, going on all these missions, and then I was a Spectre with Saren out to kill me. The last thing I was thinking about was a relationship, especially since I was so new to everything. I mean… Sure, I’ve spent time with other species in my terms but never so intimately.”

Liara glanced toward Shepard with a sly grin. “Are you saying that I intimidated you, Shepard?”

Shepard rolled her eyes and collapsed back onto the couch. “Maybe, yeah.”

“And what of the other species?”

Shepard snorted. “Liara, I’m… I’ve never even been close to any other species other than my own for more than just… you know… professional reasons. I would  _ love _ to, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t really see what the point is if I’m just gonna die.” That was a little dark. “That was a little dark, sorry.”

Liara shook her head. “If you’re going to die of unnatural causes, Shepard, why not… indulge in your curiosities?”

Shepard’s eyes locked onto Liara’s, and something passed between them. Something that felt so much like the first time Liara had been confident enough to speak her feelings. 

“Liara, I don’t want to…”  _ I don’t what to what? _ “I’m… a little nervous to try anything. What if it doesn’t work? I mean I’m not exactly a scientist, but the anatomy has to be at least a  _ little _ different.”

Liara stared for a minute before bursting into a raucous fit of laughter, wiping her eyes, she giggled, “I don’t mean to mock you. I’m just… surprised at your innocence after everything you’ve been through.” Her sweet laugh settled, and her eyes sparkled with soft mischief and shyness. “I must admit… and it’s a little embarrassing, but… I haven’t actually been with anyone before. I’ve never really had the time.”

“Aren’t you a hundred and some change?”

Liara laughed and covered her face with one hand. “Yes, and that’s what’s most embarrassing. Other than the fact that I’m telling you this for no reason, it seems. I spent my whole life researching the Protheans and getting tangled up in my work, so I never made the time. I think I was avoiding it all, if I’m being honest with you, but you’ve made me start thinking about it all again since… you know… the first time.”

“Liara, are you coming on to me?” It was mostly a joke, but there was a grain of truth-seeking in it.

“Maybe I am, Shepard. Second time’s the charm?”

Shepard couldn’t help but feel a little admiration for Liara for keeping her cool and persisting even in the face of adversity.

“I know that I’m… a jealous person, Shepard, and I know that your flirtations with others, even if we do… become one together… I know they won’t stop because that is who you are, but my jealousy is my own.”

That caught Shepard off guard, but maybe that explained the coolness that Liara exuded. “Space monogamy?”

It was Liara’s turn to scoff. “Monogamy is an incredibly archaic ideology based on a non-communal system of living, but… I do get jealous.” She paused. “So, I suppose… I suppose were it a relationship, then I would… like to have open communication and full disclosure among partners.”

During their conversation, time seemed to have stopped for Shepard at some point. All the meanings of their words had been lost to this pause - this void, and they’d suddenly caught up with Shepard in a wave-crash impact of cold feet and confusion.

“Are we… really talking about this?” she asked, rubbing her sweaty palms on her pants. 

Liara looked down at her own hands. “Would you like to stop?”

_ Yes. _

“No.”

“Shepard, I think my feelings toward you are clear,” Liara said with some kind of finality creeping into her voice - the voice of the Shadow Broker, the voice of a friend who she’d abandoned in death, the voice of someone looking for an answer. 

“Do you think we can… talk about it a little more because…” She didn’t really have a because. She was having trouble even wrapping her mind around exactly what was happening since it was all going at warp speed for  _ her _ brain, at least. She huffed out a tense breath.

“It’s a lot to deal with, I suppose,” Liara admitted quietly.

“I don’t think I mind it, though.” A pause. “I think.”

Shepard opened her mouth to continue, but no words came out. There wasn’t much more to say. They’d faced life and death together. They’d been through more than anyone else, Shepard thought. The simple fact that they were talking about this  _ now _ was a little jarring and a little more than confusing. 

“Shepard…” Liara started.

Shepard didn’t reply with words. 

Maybe they went from zero to light speed too quickly, but Liara was right as far as Shepard could parse out with her straining brain. There wasn’t any sense in waiting around for something to happen when she could make it happen for herself. 

Liara went stiff for a few seconds after Shepard turned around and leaned against her in a kiss that remained suspended in confused, startled statis for a while before Shepard felt Liara’s hands rest cautiously on her shoulders. Liara was warm. Warmer than Shepard expected for some reason. Of course their hands had brushed. Of course they’d been close together. Of course they’d made contact. 

But Shepard hadn’t ever focused on the warmth emanating from her. The quickness of her breath. The softness of her skin against Shepard’s own. 

It had been… a long time since Shepard felt  _ this _ type of exhileration. She’d been too busy - too consumed by everything she’d had to do over the last several years - to focus on much else, but it was all an excuse, wasn’t it?

They kissed, still nearly chaste, for a long moment before Liara broke away, her careful hands lifting off Shepard’s shoulders and hovering milimeters away. Her eyes were searching for something in Shepard’s, and Shepard was starting to feel like Liara was inspecting her closely for flaws - appraising her, even. 

“Am I just a convenience item, Shepard?”

Shepard blinked at the sudden question. She immediately started questioning herself and analyzing the things she’d said before she practically threw herself at Liara. They were just talking about it in a theoretical sense. Why did she have to go and do the action thing and why-

“Shepard?”

“No.”

“Your pause is disconserting.” Liara’s eyes were back in that guarded light. She was shutting down right in front of Shepard’s eyes. 

“Liara, I… I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t ready to commit to something.”

Liara’s perfectly arched eyebrow quirked in almost-amusement. “Are you sure? You’ve proven you can be very headstrong when you want to be.”

Shepard rolled her eyes with an expression that couldn’t be misinterpreted as anything other than sarcastic acknowledgement. 

Liara’s hands stopped hovering and grasped Shepard’s shoulders firmly. “I trust you, Shepard. Please don’t make me regret this.”

Shepard’s heart squeezed at the mere thought, but she shook her head once in affirmation. 

This time, Liara leaned in and kissed Shepard, and this time, it wasn’t chaste.


End file.
